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As If

by Kathryn Mohr

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1.
As If 02:18
I am not counting down the days I am eyeing them suspiciously from some room familiar shapes and a pale blue dust the light fades out a dream in ultraviolet as if it's forsaken the cloudless sky the half moon dipping down through my skull
2.
Drain 01:02
3.
About Me 01:27
what comforts my innermost self working my way around talking quietly or just with eyes and it’s really all about me about me about the shattered tiles and chipped grout and moths navigate similar to electric pulses through my brain limbs of a body, miles am I the thread fraying weathered in the elements sleeping under a magnolia tree an all-way stop with no cars and is it really all about me about me
4.
5.
Gasoline 01:02
'I don't care what you're talking about it's whatever it's back then i turn blue just thinking about all the news it's whatever' or so they say so they will get their guns go outside fill the tank drive the truck it's gasoline it's burning clean
6.
living room, living in, curtains, window screens broken mud, water a bracelet, blue tiles, twenty-five cents a breeze carrying incense from the graveyard. lighters, newspapers, magazines, celebrities steeping, late-night, neon, wet pavement in the walls, pipes, wires, listening vents blowing hot air by the laundromat keeping the homeless man warm the direct line, upstairs, white noise black tea, brimming, leaves at the bottom, like a pond corners and edges of memories, something from a past life on the television, a conversation with someone new
7.
when I am real I can hear the night time freight sliding up and down the peninsula I’m exhausted too many dreams at night of old friends and strange men I see hibiscus red as I close my mouth the glint of teeth fear of wasted time of bullet trains of pistols I was caught in traffic no home psychic driving scatterbrained caught up in olivine, crystalline, holocene, amphetamine, plasticine...
8.
9.
Amend 01:48

about

As If is a collaboration between my analog synth and myself. There is some yelling and some whispering. A guitar at one point. I threw my soul into this. A special thanks to my car and an (almost) empty parking lot where everything was recorded. And, also, thank you to the artists (of all types) in my life, who inspire and encourage me. All songs were written and recorded in this strange year, 2020.

credits

released November 18, 2020

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Kathryn Mohr California

instagram: @kathryn__mohr

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